For once, Ice Box Canyon truly lived up to its name at Red Rock Canyon, just outside Las Vegas, Nevada.

The recent storms had covered the landscape into a winter wonderland.

Pine trees and cacti layered with glistening snow and icicles.

Parts of the the trail hardened with ice.

The crunch of my hiking shoes along the path was new, but a welcoming sound.

The springs shared the sound of rushing water, creating a sense of calm.

This was a hike I’ve explored many times, but today - it looked and felt different.

Much like how this year ended for me.

I had a clear vision of how 2019 should have ended, but the conditions told another story.

Like the snow sprinkled on the mountains, 2019 was also sprinkled in with disappointments here and there.

Death of a loved one.

Rejection of an old friend.

Boundaries broken.

Battling anxiety and fear.

Each visit from disappointment left me shrugging my shoulders, and anticipating the next ‘bad’ thing to happen.

But today, as I was reflecting on all that the year had brought while walking this snowy and quiet hike, it was like a still voice from God spoke to me. Reminding me that although the path looked and felt different - it was covered.

Covered in God’s grace. Covered in love. Covered in healing.

Although the trail had been littered with unexpected tragedy, hurt, and confusion - the path had already been covered, even in the harrowing darkness.

Understandably, it had just taken me some time to see the beauty of God’s plans in the hurt.

Baby Blake: Your short life on this earth was a blessing to our family and those around us. Thank you for the reminder that ALL are worthy of love. Although your time was small, you have made the biggest impacts on the faith of those who love you, and will never forget you. Because of your life, people have strengthened their relationship with God.
Rejection: To you, old friend, I wish nothing but the best. As I look back, it hurts to know I let your actions have such an effect on how I perceived my own worth. I’m grateful for the strength and lesson learned that my hope, once again, should not be placed in people. We are all imperfect, but we deserve forgiveness and grace every day. Thank you for teaching me that, and the healthiness I now pursue in the people I choose to surround myself with.
Boundaries: I’m disappointed in myself for letting boundaries be broken in a few areas of my life. For pushing my health and disrupting balance, whether to get ahead in an effort to make more money, or to excel in titles that do not really matter. It wasn’t worth it. All that resulted was stress and more follow-up appointments to check on my health. I’m reminded that boundaries are necessary, and part of the recipe of mental wellness.
Anxiety & Fear: The ongoing battle of this duo has taught me how easy it can be to let these thoughts consume your life. How much it can paralyze the joys of what makes us feel alive. How hard it can feel to pull yourself out of this spiraling cycle, once you’re in. I’m grateful for the support system of my loved ones, church community and practical resources which continue to help during the healing process.

2020 will be a new set of normal (whatever that may look like), and I am grateful for what the pain of 2019 has revealed.

A new year will bring unexpected bumps along the trail, yet again.

The path will not look or feel as familiar when the time comes, but I know that is it covered.

Covered by God’s beautiful grace, and it is well.